Repelling advances from the opposite sex

  1. Man: "Haven't we met before?"
    Woman:"Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V D Clinic."

  2. Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?
    Woman:"Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

  3. Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
    Woman:"No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."

  4. Man: "Want to Dance?"
    Woman:"No, thank you."
    Man: "Don't thank me, thank God somebody asked you.",

  5. Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
    Woman:"It's in the phone book."
    Man: "But I don't know your name."
    Woman:"That's in the phone book too.

  6. Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
    Woman:"Female impersonator.

  7. Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?
    Woman:"Unfertilized, go away!"

  8. A graying man in his 60's approaches a twenty-something with "Where have you been all my life?" She took one glance at him and said, "For the first half of it, I probably wasn't born yet."

  9. Two young dudes are striding down the street and one glances at a girl who has just walked by. She turns around and sneers at him, "What are you looking at?" His friend comes to the rescue: "He thought you were good looking. Man, was he was mistaken!"

  10. "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

  11. Guy: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason!"
    Gal: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"