Dear Special Interest Customer,

Congratulations on the purchase of your genuine Government Official (TM). With regular maintenance your Government Official (TM) should provide you with a lifetime of sweetheart deals, insider information, preferential legislation and other fine services. Before you begin using your product, we would appreciate it if you would take the time to fill out this customer service card. This information will not be sold to any other party, and will be used solely to aid us in better fulfilling your future needs in political influence.

  1. Which of our fine products did you buy?

  2. How did you hear about your Government Official (TM)? (Please check all that apply)

  3. How do you expect to use your Government Official (TM)? (Please check all that apply)

  4. What factors influenced your purchase? (Please check all that apply)

  5. Is this product intended as a replacement for a currently owned Government Official (TM)? ______

    If you answered "yes," please indicate your reason(s) for changing models.

Thank you for your valuable time. Always remember: in choosing a Government Official (TM) you have chosen the best politician that money can buy.